B'Elanna Ran
by Sareki02
Summary: (T, P/T) A series of short scenes that take place between Hunters and Extreme Risk dealing with B'Elanna's depression. Rated R for language and sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Many thanks to Delwin for editing and hand holding. This story would not exist without her thoughtful comments. Also thanks to Photogirl1890 for catching typos.

As a warning, the second chapter includes a discussion of the events of Vis a Vis, specifically Steth (in Tom's body) having sex with B'Elanna while she thought he was Tom. While not graphic or violent, if you are bothered by a discussion of this kind of thing, you have been warned.

**B'Elanna Ran**

B'Elanna ran.

The smell of the ocean filled her nose as she took deep, steady breaths. She placed one foot ahead of the other on the smooth dirt trail that overlooked the Pacific Ocean. The trail was a runner's dream: periods of flat, steep climbs to challenge her endurance, gradual downhills that didn't torture her knees. The air was cool, but not cold. The scenery was stunning.

A runner's dream. And the first gift Tom had ever given to her.

She thought back to the day, sometime during their third year in the Delta Quadrant, when she had complained over lunch that she was tired of the treadmill in the gym and the track program on the holodeck. Harry had suggested one of the hiking programs, but B'Elanna explained that many of the trails were not great for running, having steep downhills or uneven terrain. She then talked about a trail she used to run along the ocean while she was on the decathlon team at the academy. How she would look out on the Pacific, in late summer mesmerized by the sun glittering off the water. Tom sat quietly as she and Harry went back and forth, describing a dream running trail.

Two months later, Tom had asked her to join him on the holodeck. That was not an unusual request, but asking her to wear her running clothes was.

When she arrived at the holodeck the program was already active and the computer informed her he was already inside. Entering, she saw Tom standing at a trailhead, also attired to run.

"What is this?" she asked, looking around.

"It's for you." He smiled. "It's a place for you to run."

She looked around and saw the California coastline, the Pacific Ocean, the gently rolling wide smooth trail. It was just as she had described, as she had wished for.

"You made this? For me?"

Tom chuckled. "Well, I'd like to use it too if that is okay… but yes, I made it for you."

B'Elanna didn't know how to respond, so she went with trite. "Of course you can use it… and… thank you."

"Do you want to go for a run?"

B'Elanna broke out into a huge grin of her own. "Do you think you can keep up with me?"

"I can try."

As they ran, Tom explained that the program had several different trails she could choose from and that it had a random feature that would create something new for her. After a few kilometers, Tom stopped talking, putting his energy into keeping up with her. A few more kilometers and B'Elanna slowed the pace as not to leave him behind. After ten kilometers it was clear Tom was done.

Coming to a particularly pleasant vista, B'Elanna stopped to enjoy the view. She could hear Tom panting next to her as he gazed out at the ocean. As she turned to face him, she saw the sweat rolling down his face, dampening his shirt. She could smell his odor, which was not entirely pleasant at the moment. And for the first time she realized she was falling in love with him.

"Holodeck time will end in five minutes," the computer's voice rung out from the sky.

Tom turned to face her. "Did you like it?"

B'Elanna nodded. "Yes, thank you. It's exactly what I wanted."

Tom smiled. "I'm glad. Computer, end program and transfer ownership of 'B'Elanna's run' to B'Elanna Torres."

"Transfer complete."

They exited the holodeck and, as was Tom's custom after a 'date', he walked her back to her quarters. She opened the door and stood half inside her quarters, waiting for him to kiss her cheek goodbye, as he normally did. But Tom looked uncomfortable for a moment before saying, "I'd give you kiss, but I have a feeling I don't smell too great."

B'Elanna shrugged. "I don't care."

He smiled and leaned down, turning his head slightly to press his lips against her cheek, but reaching up she grabbed his face, redirecting his lips to her own. The kiss was long and sweet and the first non-Pon Farr induced one they had shared. Their lips broke contact and B'Elanna smiled at him. "Good night Tom. Thank you again for the program."

Looking a little shell shocked, Tom replied, "Oh, uh, my pleasure."

The burning of her muscles brought B'Elanna back to the present. She thought back to that moment with Tom, how elated she had been as the door to her quarters slid shut. She had been trying to recapture that feeling, any feeling. But all she could feel was the pounding of her feet, her muscles crying for her to slow her relentless pace as she approached forty kilometers.

But B'Elanna kept running.


	2. Chapter 2

B'Elanna ran.

The doors of the conference room slammed shut behind her, ringing through the corridor at a decibel level that B'Elanna's engineering mind knew was impossible.

Tom had been telling them about his 'adventure,' when it had crashed down on her like a ton of bricks. When "Steth" had left. When "Tom" had come to her quarters. Who she had fucked.

The only word she heard after her realization was, "Dismissed." The images wouldn't leave her mind as she stormed through the ship. Entering Holodeck 2 she engaged the privacy lock and called up the running program. She stripped off her jacket and turtleneck, throwing them aside and then looked down at her boots. The heel made them less than ideal running shoes, but she didn't care. She took off down the path.

No matter how fast she ran the images kept coming. "Tom" apologizing for being an ass. "Tom" kissing her. "Tom" taking her clothes off.

She should have known. It had all seemed wrong. The way he had touched her had not been the same. He had been rough with her but not in the normal, playful, way, when they would struggle for dominance. Tom always let her take the position she wanted. He always grabbed her ass in the same way. Touched her in the same way. Asked her if she was ready in the same way.

But not last night. "Tom" had taken her quickly, too quickly. She gasped in slight pain, but "Tom" didn't seem to notice. Or care. He didn't make the soft moan he always made. He didn't put his head next to hers and say, "God, I love you."

She should have known. And she should be furious. But she just felt empty.

B'Elanna faltered.

Her ankle rolled as she fell off the heel of her boot.

Sitting on the ground, she ripped the boot off her foot and gingerly moved the ankle. Rotating her foot, she could feel the pain shoot through her body. And it felt strangely good.

Sitting in the middle of the path, staring off into the Pacific, she wondering if Tom knew what she had done with Steth. She wondered if she should tell him or if he was better off not knowing. With these thoughts the numbness returned.

B'Elanna removed her other boot and stood.

In bare feet, B'Elanna ran.


	3. Chapter 3

B'Elanna ran.

Her feet burned in the hot water of the Gorath lagoon. With every deep breath she could feel the sulfur. Her body ached from where the pain sticks had come in contact with her torso. She could feel the blood dripping from where Master's bat'leth had sliced her skin, a headache forming from when he had hit her in the head.

As she moved through the lagoon, she thought back to last year, the last Day of Honor. Then she had felt ashamed when Moklor told her that she had a "pitiful reply" to his question of how she had distinguished herself as a warrior. This year when he asked, she had just coldly replied that she was no warrior. She wanted to move through the beginning of the program as quickly as possible and felt such relief as the first of the pain sticks was jabbed into her ribs.

She was alive after all.

The lava rocks beneath the steaming, murky water cut into her bare feet. An unexpected obstacle caused her to trip.

B'Elanna fell.

Her pants and her knee were sliced open by the sharp rocks. Sitting in the steaming water she poked at the cut, reveling in the pain. She took off the ruined and soaking pants leaving her in just her tank top and shorts. She momentarily laid back into the steaming water and her mind drifted to Tom.

She remember last year, when he came to her quarters after the first time she had run the program. How they had argued. How he told her she was always pushing him away. And how upset she had been when he had left.

Now she could barely muster the desire to argue with him. The desire to be with him. The desire to love him. She felt empty, even when he kissed her or told her he loved her. The things that used to make her heart swell.

Now she was with him because it was what was expected. It proved there was nothing wrong with her.

She thought back to three weeks ago, when they had been playing Durotta in his quarters.

"The Day of Honor is coming up," he said, handing her a tall, light colored piece to place on the board.

As she pondered her move, she thought of the holodeck program. Of the physical challenges it presented. "So it is," she said, non-committal.

"Well, since there isn't really anything to do in the Void, maybe we could celebrate it. Together." He watched as she set down her piece and handed him a short dark one.

"Together?" she asked.

"Yeah… I could make some alterations to the program. Is there anything you would want to change?"

"More pain sticks," she said quietly without thinking. She quickly looked up to see the expression on Tom's face, a mix of horror and questioning if she was joking.

"What?" he said, his words punctuated by half a laugh.

"Nothing," she growled, standing. "Look, it's late and I have an early shift. I'll see you later." She left before he could question her on what had just happened.

Brought back to the present by the cuts all over her body screaming out as the sulfur water infiltrated them, B'Elanna looked up at the red sky. The pain prompted her to stand, to keep going.

So B'Elanna continued to run alone through the sulfur lagoons of Gorath.


	4. Chapter 4

B'Elanna ran.

It had been a week since the accident. A week since Chakotay had confronted her behavior. A week since the Doctor had started pumping her full of antidepressants.

A week since they told her that she had to 'talk about it.'

Yesterday Chakotay had given her back limited, monitored use of the holodeck. No orbital sky diving, no combat scenarios. But who would have thought anything of a simple jogging program?

So B'Elanna ran along the Pacific, smelling the salt air and listening to the crashing of the waves on the rocks below.

People kept asking her how she was, if she was okay. How things were going. To which she answered that she was fine. Because, more than anything else, she didn't want to 'talk about it.'

It felt nice not to think about any of that. To just run.

She heard the holodeck doors open and close and then the sound of feet running to catch up with her. She looked back over her shoulder.

Tom.

They still had not 'talked about it.' She knew he desperately wanted to know what was wrong, but what could she say? _I was depressed because all my old friends died and when I needed you most you disappeared into the holodeck and then someone stole your body and took advantage of me? _

He had caught up with her, slowing his pace. "Hey there," he said between breaths.

"Hey."

They ran together in silence for a while. "How are you?" he finally asked.

"Fine," she automatically replied.

"No, you're not."

She turned to look at him as they ran.

He continued, "We need to talk about this."

Looking straight ahead again, she replied, "I don't know how."

"Then we'll figure it out together." He was huffing now, having difficulty keeping up with her. "B'Elanna, please, can we just stop running?"

In the holodeck with Tom, the waves crashing, the salt air gusting, the seagulls cawing, she knew what she had to do.

B'Elanna stopped running.

_Fin_


End file.
